Nothing, nevermind

Thoughts I’ve had at work:

You know, I really don’t work well with others.

What the fuck are you looking at? I’ll kick your ass, bitch.

What is with America’s obsession with productivity and standing? Can’t a person be both industrious and seated? *After a third manager walked by and gave me a look while I sat on the ground to assemble a display.

I’m not slow, I’m methodical.

I AM an academic!

I will never work for Macy’s again, so why not?

How many Quesadilla’s would one have to make in a lifetime to justify a Quesadilla maker?

Could I be bi-sexual?

Oh no, you don’t have to acknowledge my humanity, I can see you’re busy. *As I struggle with a 75 lb. metal stand while three managers had a pleasant little chat no more than few feet away.

That’s a great bruise. It looks like a fetus.

Don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to me. I really don’t care. I really don’t care. I really don’t care.

Okay, I have forty-five minutes till lunch. Subtract forty-five minutes from four forty-five and then I’ll only have two and a half hours until I’m off. Two and a half hours is better than three hours. Thank the stars.

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Today, I was on my way to work when I realized that I just didn’t want to go, so I didn’t. I felt instantly guilty, because being a person who just ditches work and doesn’t tell her boss isn’t someone I want to be. But the truth is sometimes I just don’t want to deal with all shit. I didn’t want to feel bad or explain my actions; honestly I just didn’t want to go to this job. I didn’t want to be the good girl who tried to make it work. Even though that person makes everyone else happy, it makes me miserable. That’s why I lie, so I don’t have to disappoint anyone; and I still get my way. It’s childish and immature, but at times that’s who I am.

And I had a great day off. I drove around and shopped for my birthday get-together this Saturday. And I got some new oh la la boots! (As I carried my bag around I was reminded of Rachel from Friends: "There my new "I don't need a job, I don't need my father, I got great boots" boots!") I’m all relaxed and clear-headed. Lovely, lovely.