Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Being denied entrance into the lowest-level math class was the last straw.

That's it.

I'm tired of this.

I'm tired of living with my parents. I'm tired of being poor. I'm tired of having to explain myself all the time. I'm tired of everyone saying how proud they are that I've finally figured out my life. I'm tired of constant humiliation and embarrassment. I'm tired of justifying myself. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of being alone. I want to go on vacation. I want a boyfriend. I want to finish my senior project. I want to finish school. I want to get the classes I want without all the bureaucratic bullshit. I want to fit into my skinny jeans. I want to be financially secure. I want a job. I want to help women. I want to do research. I want to finish my math classes. I want all of this to be done. I want to get laid. I want something easy to do. I want to sleep. I'm tired of wanting. I'm tired of not ever feeling satisfied. I'm tired of feeling like a failure. I'm tired of being misunderstood. I'm tired of being the strong, supportive friend. I want to be the mess for a while. I want everyone to stop worrying about me. I want people to have faith in me. I want a boy I like to like me back. I'm tired of television. I'm tired of seeing people have a life. I want a life of my own. I want Joe to sing me more songs. I don't want to be someone's plan-B. I want a vacation. I want more money. I want to go to sleep.


Blogger Steve G said...

I understand your frustration. But be aware that all this can be seen as being ungrateful for what you have and obsessing over what you don't.

Then again, it's just a blog, so let'er rip ;)

7:54 AM  
Blogger Debbye said...

I don't give a shit if I appear ungrateful. If I did I would've written this in my personal journal and spared all five readers of my blog of my ungrateful, obsessive longing.

And as ever, Steve, your sensitive interpretations of my feelings and thoughts are always warmly welcome.

Now I'm gonna go mop up the dripping sarcasm.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl, I understand your situation but patience in present and joy in doing!

8:33 PM  

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