Wide Open Spaces

I need to get out of my apartment and accomplish some things in life. I am not looking for work until my sister's wedding is over. I don't want a repeat of my last job. That means I'm not working at all during the next three weeks. My jobs in the past few years haven't been thrilling but they really took up a great deal of time. I hate all this sitting around and trying to think of something to do. I hate not getting paid. I hate wanting all of these things to make my apartment cute not even knowing if I'm going to be able to keep it in two months. Ugh. I just hate my life.

Late at night it's worse. I just think of how I'm not going to work the next day so I get depressed. In my fantasy world all of my friends come and rally around me in a "Friends"-style moment and I feel the security of their love. Life isn't like that at all. Yes I know my friends love me very much, but they have their own lives and most likely don't think of me sitting in my little room. I am just so god-damn needy right now! I also want to fuck away my problems. If I could just find a nice little (not really little) fuck-buddy I would at least fill up a few hours a week. I'm just that bored. Sigh.