Being a grown up is not fun. All I want to do is either stay in bed or hang out with my father, but no I have to get up and go to work. I don't even have anyone to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
I don't think anyone knows what to say.
That's the thing about being alone, you get tough. I have to crawl into my empty bed and wish I had someone to snuggle up with until I fall asleep. I have to get up and motivate myself to do what's best. I have to tell myself it will be okay even if I don't know if I believe myself. I have to listen to the quiet.
What I'm scared of is that I will get used to being alone. So used to it that I reject comfort from others and depend completely on my own voice. Just needing men for fun and fucking. Never letting anyone in.
So I open myself up here. I know that people read this blog and in a very little way I don't feel so alone. I can be soft and vulnerable.
My poor father. How alone he must feel. But he's not alone, because I am right there with him. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
posted by Debbye @ 8:22 PM
4 Comments:
I think you would be very lucky if you got used to be alone. Being comfortably alone is a talent very few possess.
I realize it must be hard to be positive right now, but give yourself a little credit.
I know, I'm just being a bit dramatic.
Thanks, sweetie.
This from the guy who lives with his girlfriend....
Well, obviously I'm no good at it. But it's one of the things I admire about you.
Shoot, there goes another compliment again. That's enough for one year. This is bullshit!
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