Caps Lock is a bad, bad thing.

The Match.com Profile of Viagra65 who told me I was "hot" (word for word):

"WORLD CLASS HUGGER CUDDLER KISSER SPOONER- A WOMEN WITH A KIND AND GENTLE HEART..WHO HAS AN INTOXICATING SMILE.. MESMERIZING EYES.. AND A DAZZLING AND CHARMING WIT~! OH YES..SHE MUST LOVE TO KISS..GIVE AND RECEIVE WONDERFUL MASSAGES.. ENJOY LAUGHING AND BE SENSUAL..PASSIONATE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY BE A NICE AND SWEET GAL -WITH A BIT OF A NAUGHTY SIDE THAT HER 9-5 WORLD KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT~! NOT INTO E MAIL CHIT CHAT~! LETS LEAVE THAT FOR THE MIDDLESCHOOLERS AND CONVICTS ON DEATH ROW.~!!IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU READ AND I LEAVE YOU INTRIGUED OR CURIOUS LETS MOVE INTO "REAL" TIME"-- TALK ON THE TELEPHONE TO MAKE SURE OUR VOICES DONT MAKE THE OTHER PROJECTILE VOMIT.. PS YOU WILL LOVE MY AUTHENTIC NEW YORK ACCENT THAT I REFUSE TO LOOSE AFTER 13 YEARS OUT HERE~!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT TODAY WAS ONE OF THE LUCKIEST DAYS IN MY LIFE(MAY9) I ORDER SOUP AND THE CHOICE WAS YANKEE BEAN OR PEA SOUP~! I HIT THE JACKPOT~! PEA SOUP~! PEA SOUP~! IT FELT LIKE I WON 100000 BUCKS ON THE SLOTS IN VEGAS~! I EXPECTED BELLS TO GO OFF~!... I THEN WENT TO USE THE MEN ROOM ONLY TO HAVE IT ATTACHED TO...READY FOR THIS?... A HAMMER~!!..WHATS NEXT ATTACHING A BATHROOM KEY TO A DEAD BODY OR MAYBE A FORKLIFT~! ANYWAY ALL THINGS BACK TO NORMAL~

PS..IF I LEAVE YOU MY NUMBER... CALL ME- IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MEETING AN EXCITING.. CHARMING.. FUNNY...INTELLIGENT... WARM... KIND...SENSUAL AND ONE HELL OF A KISSER~!

AND FOR GODS SAKE IF YOU CALL ME PLEASE JUST DONT SAY YOUR "REAL" NAME..A NAME YOU NEVER USED ON YOUR EMAIL... AND EXPECT ME TO HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THE HECK YOU ARE~!!.AND THEN SAY" HOW MANY GIRLS ARE YOU WRITING TO?... SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WE WERE EXCLUSIVE~!

SAY YOUR SCREEN NAMEITS SO ANNNNNNOYING

AND FOR GODS SAKE DONT ASK THE DUMBEST QUESTION ON EARTH"WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO CALL YOU?" AHH NOT BETWEEN 4:O1 AM AND 4:06AM-JUST CALL AND DONT ASSUME YOUR NUMBER COMES UP AS IT DOES NOT WHEN MY CELL IS BEING CHARGED. NO EMAILS I WONT WRITE YOU ON YOUR PERSONAL E MAIL"

Okay Mr. Sarcastic Demandingpants.