This is not a fairy tale

Once there was a young woman who was steaming forward through life with no real goals or ambition besides getting back to the safety of her apartment. She wasn't satisfied with her course but didn't really think enough of herself to actually change her life. She would walk around aimlessly for hours down the same street hoping that something would change. But it never did.

Until one day she crossed the street and stepped in a pothole and twisted her ankle. It bothered her but not enough to change her course. The next week she started feeling better and stepped in the same pothole, but this time she broke her leg. The pain was so great all she could do was sit on the street and cry. Then she realized that she had to get home. Suddenly the world seemed like a dangerous place and everyone was out to get her. She didn’t go to the doctor and have her leg set, because she knew that would mean more pain. She just wanted to get to her apartment and put her leg up. ‘I’ll go to the doctor later,’ she thought.

She got home, but things got worse. She couldn’t function around her apartment and spent most of her time on the couch. Soon she started feeling very sorry for herself. Her parents took pity on her by inviting her to come live with them. The young woman saw this as a chance to get off her leg so she could heal. So she sat in a wheelchair and expected everyone to take care of her. Sitting around feeling sorry for herself was way too time consuming for her to think of getting out of that chair. ‘Once I get safe at my parent’s house, I’ll get my leg set,’ she thought

Instead she sat for many months feeling sorry for herself and thinking of all the ways she had screwed up her life. After a few months a funny thing happened; the young woman started to want better for her life. She wanted to go out and actually explore this world she’s been hiding from her entire life. But rather than allowing her leg to heal properly so she could get out of the chair and explore new streets, she got very scared. She would look at her wounded leg and remember how dangerous the world was. As her fear grew her dependence on others became more intense and she became very needy. She wanted her friends and family to fix her, to make her less scared of what she knew she had to do. Her poor family and friends were worried for her, because they knew they couldn’t fix her. (Though they wanted to, because they loved her.) It was up to her to get her leg set and get up out of the chair. ‘I know I should fix this leg so I can live my life, but I’m so scared of more pain! Pain sucks.’ she thought.

Finally, she had enough. She had her leg set and it was painful. She was mean, cranky and determined to make everyone else feel her pain. What made it worse was that she had no one to blame but herself for putting this off for so long. She knew the only way she could heal and function again was to just get up and walk. So she took a few small steps a day. Slowly her leg healed and she was able to walk on her own and depend less on her family and friends to take care of her. The young woman was ready to explore the roads in front of her. Sometime she would feel a twinge of pain in her leg, but she knew the pain was a part of life. ‘I can never be free from danger and pain, but walking again on my own feel so much better than sitting in that damn chair and being taken care of.’ she thought.

The moral of this story is that sometimes life is hard, but that’s life. It’s going to have joy and suffering and you have to deal with it. What other option do you really have? It seems simple, but I ask myself that if it were that simple, then why do I have to relearn it all the time? Because I’m a stubborn, pain in the ass, that’s why. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

So, fuck you. :)