It's been three years!

I've been writing this muthafuckin' blog for three years. No, I'm not gonna go into all that has changed in these last few years, because there is too much to say. But it makes me think of commitment and my attitude towards commitment.

Okay, I'll say it: I'm not good with commitment.

I take that back - I'm good with commitment as long as it doesn't require too much from me.

The trouble with that is that most commitment requires effort. Relationships, work, school, exercise, eating healthy, blah, blah, blah - all require effort. I'd rather watch TV or read a good book. I know that I want to have a life I can be proud of so I have to overcome this whole "commitment, ick" attitude that I've been carrying around for most of my life.

Now before this turns into a pollyanna-ifyed "Gee, I'll give it my best" inspirational speech and make everyone puke - I'm gonna make one thing clear: Changing my life is fucking hard and it sucks about 75% of the time. I would love nothing more than to sit on my ass for the rest of my life, get fat and amount to nothing. But if I do this I'll live a short life 'cause I'd end up jumping off a bridge. Living comfortably numb sucks more than hard work, I tell you what.

So, I'm a different person than the girl who started this blog three years ago. Or maybe I'm less ignorant. Or enlightened. I don't know. But I do know that I've made a choice: I'm gonna commit to the path I've started down.

Damn it.