It's a Deal...

I'm not going to be online as much anymore.

I’ve come to this decision because it’s a big distraction from the main reason I made this big change in my life. I’ve had so many things happen to me over the last year and I’m still trying to process it all. It's turning out to be more complex than I thought. Plus, there are issues I’ve had to deal with most of my life, like depression and a poor sense of self-worth that are rear their ugly heads every once and a while. I just want to find out why I keep failing in my grown up life, how I can remedy this problem and cope with the rest of my life.

I moved back home to give myself some breathing space. Maybe that was too boring, because I found myself online most of the day. I found myself making my online life more important than my real life. Couple that with a case of the crazies every once and while, and it's bad times.

I haven't been online this entire weekend and it's been great. I found myself thinking of ways to make my real life better. I read good books. I made plans to get a job. I spent time teaching my friend Becky how to knit while watching "Buffy" reruns. I watched interesting movies and documentaries. I contemplated the existence of god. I thought of ways to be a better feminist. I napped.

The problem isn’t the internet, or my friends or anything else I would like to blame. It’s me. I’ve compromised so much over the last few years that I just don’t know who I am anymore. And doing this makes me feel like I'm on the right path.