Hard-Up

A few weeks ago I went on a drinking-fueled winking-fest on match.com where I sent winks to a large group of males in my area. A wink on match.com is where you show some interest, like winking at a stranger from across the room. It’s very non-committal and doesn’t require stringing a sentence together for a total stranger. So, this guy emailed me and he seemed intelligent and nice, but really geeky even for me. But I'm up for meeting new people so I wrote back and after a few email exchanges I gave him my phone number. I give a guy three days to call me and if he doesn't, I write him off. When you've been dating as long as I have you must have a system to avoid too emotional attachment and inevitable disappointment.

So this guy, Brian, didn't call and I went on with my life. Then I get this email:

A good friend of mine once told me something to the effect of, if you are tired, sick, or want time to yourself, never ever call a girl or go on a first date. It is guaranteed to make a bad first impression. So I don't want you to think that I don't read my email, but rather I was pleased that you gave me your number. I'd just like to have a night were I'm not tired from work, doing family stuff or just wanting to waste/veg my mind on internet blogging, to make that first call. I hope this doesn't seem too silly to you...

Oh gawd. Give me a fucking break. I didn't even write back because this guy very clearly is a douche who couldn't handle a woman like me. The men in my life must have some balls, at least enough to call me. Crazy, I know.

Then I get another email a few days later:

Right now is apparently not a good time for me to be dating. Lately it seems like I'm always tired or cranky after work, and although I'm working on straightening my priorities out and "finding the good in people." This has not been an overnight change within me, which I must accept. I have come full circle to the old, "You must be happy single, before you can be happy in a relationship."

Thankyou for winking at me. Thankyou for giving me your number. I feel complimented. But I need time to myself, so after thinking about it all week, I've decided not to call.

He'd been thinking about it all week! I can just see him picking up the phone, then his crippling self-doubt making him slam the phone down and finally curling up in the fetal position and crying. Wow. What crazy chick turned this poor guy into this mess? Of course I had to write the guy back:

Look, it's not a big deal. I don't know you or anything but you seem to take this stuff too seriously. Relax.

And just from these recent exchanges you don't really seem like my type anyways and I had really moved on. I was just hoping to find people in this area to hang out with, but if your life is too crazy, fine.

Anyways, I hope you figure everything out. Good luck to you.

And good riddance to lame boys.