Bust a Cap in that Ass...

I went to my sister's bachelorette party last night and it basically turned me into a lesbian. Me, my sister and her friends went to a club to go dancing but instead we walked into the fucking lion's den. This club was full of the most aggressive men I have ever seen! One kept trying to dance with my sister but I told him go away. Most guys would take that as a sign to go away. But this drunk asshole took it as a challenge. He followed my sister around and tried to kiss her.
I was becoming rather angry at this point and told him to fuck off and gave him a shove. He finally went away but kept coming back to make a move on my sister and bug me. Oh I just wanted to hit him! In fact I came up with a whole plan of action in case things got worse.
I was going to hit him closed fist in the jaw and being as inebriated as he was I'm sure he would've gone down pretty easily. Then I was going to turn and walk out of the club like the cool cat that I was.
This of course didn't happen, but it would've been really cool. I mean I've always wanted to hit someone and this drunk asshole was one of my best chances. But I might have gotten arrested and that would've sucked. So I went outside and smoked a cigarette. While smoking my cigarette I decided that I was now a lesbian.
My reasons to change my sexual preference are threefold. First, boys are lame. Secondly, I am no longer being to boys after seeing their behavior in afore mentioned nightclub. Third, did I mention that boys are lame?
Then we went to a restaurant to get some post dancing and drinking chow. We were in line when some guy said we cut in front of him and called us bitches. I, being in a fighting mood, said that we may be bitches but he's behind us. The girls started laughing and that just egged me on. I then said that he's the bitch now that he's staring at my ass. Anyhow he was none too pleased with my behavior and let me know. I shined him on and got our burritos.
After I became a personal hero to all of my sister's friends we went home. My sister had a blast and really that's all that matters in the long run. All I had to do is become a dyke. Who would've thought?