Monday, June 26, 2006

Traffic Court: Part 2

I went. I stood in the security check line for an hour. I went to the courtroom and checked in. My ticket was dismissed and I paid a $10 dismissal fee. Made some lifelong friends.

For those who have never gone to traffic court here are some tips to help you along:

1. When trying to find the end of the security line hold your head up and let the Sherpas lead the way.

2. If you’re a lady wear something that looks like a wedding ring. Unless you want to meet a nice fella whose sweat smells like beer. (Hey, some ladies like that)

3. If the court building is in an urban area there are a few ways of alleviating your middle class guilt: avoid eye contact by staring off in the distance, examine your cuticles, read A People’s History of the United States or smile at the little children who bump into you every five minutes.

4. If they say your case is dismissed say, ‘okay’ and leave before they take it back.

5. If the case is dismissed feel free to be in a good mood and sing in the car on the drive home. If the song about having a bad day comes on, go ahead and sing along in jubilant irony.

2 Comments:

Blogger Brian said...

If reading Zinn helps alleviate your middle-class guilt, you're not really paying attention.

12:10 AM  
Blogger Debbye said...

Have you ever been to the court house in Downtown LA? These are the peoples he's talking about. That happened to be the book I brought, in one of my famous ‘duh’ moments. That, my VW New Beatle and my BCBG shoes made me feel like the biggest bourgeoisie shit in the known universe.

From here on out I'm going to start punctuating my written moments of sarcasm with a smiley face. :)

12:34 AM  

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