You Take a Piece of Me With You...

The other day I read that Aristotle once put out a theory that a baby inherits traits not only from the father, but from all the men that had slept with the mother to that point. Of course that got me to thinking. If that was true I might just have to go hunt down Salman Rushdie, Jon Stewart and Jake Gyllenhaal (for obvious reasons of course.)

Then I went to the dark place. Oh god, my future baby would be an arrogant bald, pothead depressive who loves wrestling, tequila, emo, film noir, and Ren Fairs. I think this says more about me than my child. So now I will make a list (YAY! I love lists!) of the good qualities I would like my child to inherit from the dudes I've boned.

Starting from the Cherry Pop:

#1. Intelligent, a romantic nature, principled, silly and has a big heart (when he acknowledges it's there.)

#2. Athletic, smart as hell, spiritual, self-assured and the ability to do a backhand spring.

#3. Musical, grace under pressure, kind and the ability to multi-task (he could drive, light a bowl and grab my breast all at the same time)

#4. Ooo, a one night stand...I don't remember his name, but he could drink both beer and tequila without getting sick. I think that's impressive.

#5. A flair for drama, good style, a fighter for the underdog, great taste in music and she could kiss like a bandit.

#6. Easy-going, loyal, viscerally smart, a good kisser and cool like The Fonz.

#7. Extroverted, diplomatic, clean, knows how to leave and stay gone.

#8. Clever, a unique sense of humor, self-aware and looks sexy when smoking (really the only guy I know who can.)

#9. Hmm... Skeevy, gross, a bad dresser, creepy intense energy and the main reason I haven't had sex in seven months. Really didn't like this guy in the long run and I'm extremely glad that Aristotle was wrong about this theory.

That's it. Honestly. I'd say 90% of my former formers were great people and I plan on quality from here on out. Because a list like this is scary.