Is that all there is?

I am ready to admit it, I'm depressed. I have been fighting it for a year or so now, but recent events have just pushed me to be honest with myself. There was denial, in fact I started yelling at my mother when she even suggested that I might be depressed.

Now I just want to feel it.

Last night I tossed and turned thinking that I was going to be fired for some inane reason. I had a plan for that: I was going to move back in with my parents and go back to school to get the degree that I really want. But I went to work and nothing happened. I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed. I think it's a bit of both.

What my problem is that I have been rather disappointed with the real world. It's like that song, "Is that all there is?" I left school because I wanted to live a more grown up kind of life. I never realized that life would be so long.

And short.

This is it. This is all I get. Just this one life. I don't know if I should just wait for Godot or attempt to achieve some lofty goals. I don't know if I'll ever figure out that one...