You're so Vain...

So I have been eating Nutrisystem food for the last six days. I already feel less puffy, but I started my period so its a give and take in terms of visual results. One thing that hurt me was my week and a half eating binge in which I must have gained five pounds. Since I'm doing so many lists lately here's one of the top ten results of eating Nutrisystem for a week. (thought of that title all by myself)

10. You shouldn't call it a "chocolate shake" if there is no ice cream or actual chocolate taste. They should call it "Ground Up Cardboard in which you add 8 oz of water"

9. Tuna on melba toast is not a meal and hasn't been one since 1978.

8. I don't care how good it might taste, but a cheese burger that doesn't require refrigeration is a little freaky.

7. If you don't like to cook then this is the diet for you.

6. If you like really tasty food this isn't the diet for you.

5. All the pasta taste like Chief Boy-ar-dee, and I don't know if that's good or bad yet.

4. You have to eat either salad or fruit with every meal! Pro:my colon is running like LAX.

3. You have to eat either salad or fruit with every meal! Con: Gas so bad that you actually long for constipation.

2. Pre-packaged food=twice as much garbage. I may look good but I'm fucking up the environment. Jesus, you can never win.

1. As much Sugar-Free Jello and Cool Whip Free as you want!