The dress I want but can't get...

The dress I want but can't get...
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

...because life is cruel.

My sister in a girly princess dress...

My sister in a girly princess dress...
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

This was the prettiest dress she tried on, but I don't think she's gonna get.

Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong....

...Where the Eagle's Cry on a Mountain High.
Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong.
Far From the World We Know.
Where the Clear Winds Blow...

Ah, it was a day of love and joy. It was a day of excitement and hope. I spent my day helping my sister find her wedding dress. Let me tell you that Bridal shops are scary places. First there was an older black woman who was trying on a dress that was tacky for 1985. It was bright white, backless and had bows on the butt. The woman was over forty and in my opinion, missed the time in her life where she should wear a white, backelss, bow on the butt dress.
As my sister's Maid of Honor, I have to find a dress that both of us like. My sister and I are very different people. She's a lawyer and I was a theater major, enough said. So I found a dress that both of us like but I am only able to order it online. And there is no way I can return it if I don't like the way it looks. I can return it if it is damaged, so I might order the dress, see if I like it and if I don't, I could tear it and return it. Hey if they are going deny me the ability to return the dress, I don't think I have to play fair either.
In the second dress store there were a group of girls trying on some bridesmaids dresses. Some older woman, I imagine the mother of the bride, kept telling the girls that this dress will hide all their "flaws". First of all these girls are shelling out all this money to be in this damn wedding, they don't need to have the fact that they might have some figure flaws pointed out. And pointing out such things will not make buying some ulgy dress any better. I have been a bridesmaid three times and what I did was buy the dress, wear it and never discuss it again.
But I have to admit that as I was driving home tonight I couldn't help but feel happy for my sister. She is marrying a great guy she loves very much and she is so very happy. So when I heard"Loves Lift Us Up Where We Belong" I sang out loud and proud with no hint of irony.

How Californian's Deal with the Rain.

How Californian's Deal with the Rain.
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

God Told Noah to build him an Arky, Arky...

I will relent and discuss the weather. You see, I normally hate to talk about the weather because its insincere small talk. But the rain in LA is almost biblical. Everybody is walking around dazed and water-logged. I was driving down Sunset and there was a mini mudslide on a hill adjacent to the street! Even the Trannie hookers on Santa Monica are staying in.
Oh and everyone is grumpy too. I was driving home and I saw a car stopping in front another car in the middle of the freeway. As I passed the car I saw the driver of the first stopped car flipping off the car he stopped in front of. Then, when I looked in the rearview mirror, I saw the second car try to side swipe the first car and almost drive him into the guardrail.
Californian's need sunlight! We need to complain with a smug smile about how it can't be this hot in February!! We can't handle all this rain. No really, we can't.

I'm Miss World...Somebody Kill Me...

I'm restless. I feel so very alone right now. What can I do? What the fuck am I suppose to do? Ugh. I want someone to get me. I always feel so misunderstood. These are the moments that old people say will make us youngsters stronger. I don't feel strong. I feel like I have no skin. Like my eyes see nothing. I can't even make a joke about it because it just not funny. I don't feel like being funny.I just want someone to be nice to me. To be nice to me and understand me. I don't want to be witty or clever anymore. It wears me out. I just want to be vulnerable and intimate and naked every once and a while. Is there someone out there I can do that with? ugh. I hate it when I'm like this. When I can't find the end of myself. When I'm too much for myself even. No one can handle me not now.

My Adolescent Male Trinity

My Adolescent Male Trinity
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

Suprise It's twins!

Suprise It's twins!
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me...

I had this sad moment last night right before I went to bed. It was overwhelming loneliness (sp?). Well, I guess I'm used to it, but the feeling still knocks me on my ass every once and a while. It mostly happens when I've spent time with people I love, go home and go to bed alone. I hung with my friends last Saturday and it was so nice to be with people who love and care about me. The trouble with that is that I start depending on their love rather than my own for myself (Huh?). Oh god its early and I have to get to work.

Back in the Summer of '69

Last night I had a bit of a high school reunion. First I caught up with my friend Jen, who I haven't seen in two or three years. What is so funny is that this is the girl who I spent practically every day with when I was eighteen years old. Now we know nothing about each other. Then I saw some people I haven't seen in eight years at Mike's, another friend from high school, apartment. We spent the evening drinking and catching up with each other.
The bizarre aspect of this whole situation is that while I feel such a sense of familiarity with these people, they are strangers. All we can really talk about is the past until we get caught up to the present. We are all wanting to hang out and maybe recapture that time in life where there weren't so many responsibilities or worries. When we could hang out every night of the week until two or three in the morning and not spend a week recovering. Its just a reminder that time has passed and that we're getting older.
Yet it is also a celebration of how we have grown and changed. Many of my friends have finished school, developed serious relationships, started families, or have real grown up jobs. We want to let these people know that we survived and come out the other end pretty well. We say look what we've been through and look what we have become.
The night ended with me sobering up with my friend Mike. One thing led to another and we ended up having crazy wild sex on his pool table. Just kidding, Kathy.

You Make Me Sick!

Okay Kitty, I will admit that it wasn't you who made me sick. It's just that I didn't want anyone to find out who actually gave me the stomach flu...

That's what friends are for...

Thanks Kathy! I woke up at four in the morning with an upset stomach and at about five o'clock I had to run to the bathroom and puke up last night's fish tacos. I would think I was knocked up but I haven't had sex in four months. Great now I'm sick and depressed.

I'm just a Heterosexual Man, It's a problem with my Glands.

Okay, I feel a rant coming on....
Men. And sex. I'm so sick of men and sex. I mean come on, men used to be interesting. You guys wrote poetry, painted pictures, sang songs, thought up new ideas! Ugh. Now all you seem to want is boobies. Now I believe that you wrote poetry, painted pictures, sang songs and thought up new ideas to get boobies, but at least you felt like you had to earn the right to them. Now I'm asked for my bra size before my last name. Maybe too many drunk girls have gone wild or something but men have become boring. Like when woman started getting it on without so much of a hello men's true nature come out. Most of you are lazy boring slobs and I'm sick of the sight of you. Please become interesting!
Now to the women...Just because a guy gives you attention doesn't mean that you should roll over and spread. Men are going to take advantage of this female sexual "liberation" so just keep that in mind. Don't be idiots that believe that having a man, any man, makes you whole. In this day and age that is just a moronic fantasy that only exists in simple love songs. Quit being suprised that men only want to have sex on the first date, if you're lucky enough to get a date. Be strong and confident enough to figure out what you really want.
Finally sex is not sacred. It won't make you more desirable or worthy of love. It's just sex. It feels good, it's fun and you can put any meaning you want to it. In fact disregard everything I just said, think what you want. Just don't ask me what my fucking bra size is because you're never gonna see my tits anyway.

I Have a Picture Pinned to my Wall...

I was driving around Hollywood and I saw an ad for the J. Paul Getty museum for the work of Jacques-Louis David! I really like his work. Check it out.
I don't feel like writing much right now, so that's about it for now.

We like to Party!

Behind my apartment building there are other apartments and we are squished together pretty tight. Tonight there is a very loud party playing either techo (the worst music ever) or dance music at an Illegal volume. It is making my head hurt. I ditched my second job today and just chilled around my bedroom. Pretty exciting. I have been working so much that a day off sounded really nice. All I wanted to do was lay around and veg, but it turns out that laying around is really boring. Anyways I will stop complaining and put a pillow over my head.

My Crackwhore look.

Sexy
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

She's addicted to nicotine patches...

...well not really. More like coffee. I need it. To live. Without it I write like Hemingway. In short sentences. And think like a goldfish. Mornings are like hell without it. A. Living. Hell.

With coffee I can think, laugh, be joyful again. I try not to get caught up many vices, but I have allowed coffee to come inside and set up house. I don't mind as long as it doesn't come down to me drinking seven or eight cups a day. Also too much caffeine can lead to brittle bones, because it causes one to pee out her calcium. Well sort of...