I started walking at nine months. My dad told me that when I would fall instead of tears I would just get up with a big smile on my face. He said that was what used to amaze and amuse him, that I laughed, smiled and got right back up.
When I was three and a half I used to climb these really tall pine trees in my neighbor’s backyard. My mom and various neighbors would scream and shout for me to come down. What they didn’t understand was that the view was amazing. I could see the entire universe, otherwise known as my neighborhood. I could even see the streets beyond my neighborhood and all the places I wasn't allowed to go. Then when I was ready I would climb back down as easily as I went up. There was no sense of danger. I wasn’t scared at all.
One night I was looking out the window and I realized I was going to be old. I had this image of myself as an old lady with a kerchief on my head hunched over a cane. I was four years old at the time.
On my fifth birthday my sister told me that I would never be four years old again. I started to cry and cry. That’s when I realized, in my five year old way, that not only was my sister a little shit, but I couldn’t go back. Its when I realized birthdays were not only gifts and parties, but permanent as well.
I started reading at five. My first book was the TV guide.
When I was in third grade this boy used to make fun of me. He would point at my chest and laugh. One day he told me that he was moving and that he and his brothers were going to follow me home to beat me up. I ran home, went into my father’s bottom dresser drawer and grabbed two of his dull World War Two bayonets. My bully and his brothers were waiting outside yelling at me to come out. So I came out waiving the swords over my head and screaming like a banshee from hell. I have never seen anyone run so fast. It was a sweet victory. That’s when I learned when backed into a corner I could fight back.
I almost blew up my house when I broke the gas pipe. I had to swing on something.
I was almost raped at the age of thirteen when my friend Crystal took me to her boyfriend’s house. I don’t really remember the events leading up to it, but somehow her boyfriend’s friend was on top of me and had my shirt unbuttoned. He got off of me when Crystal came in the room and said she wanted to leave. Did I mention that there was another guy in the room watching? I didn’t say no or stop, but I didn’t want it to happen. Even now when I think about it and what could’ve happened I get sick and shaky inside.
When I was sixteen I liked a guy. I told him and he told me he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He left me against a wall crying the ugly cry. The truth is I only liked him because I thought he liked me. I wasn’t even attracted to him.
My first kiss was during truth or dare.
I was in a musical review in high school. On the last night this girl became really sick and couldn’t do her solo. I went straight to the musical director and said I could sing the part. Being so last minute and I already knew the song so he let me sing. Other girls were mad that there wasn’t a try out and snubbed me that night. I was awesome and knocked everyone’s socks off. Life’s not always fair, but it sometimes works out in your favor.
