Tuesday, January 31, 2006

the pigs have won tonight, they can all sleep soundly, and everything is all right

The State of the Union tonight was anything but united. There was a clear division between the Republicans and Democrats sitting in the audience which made the whole thing look like a high school pep-rally. I was just waiting for the Supreme Court to stand up, rip off their robes to reveal cheerleading uniforms and start doing some kicks and back flips. Do they really have to stand up and cheer like that? It just bugs me so much! I mean that's our government, for Chrissakes.

Bush was maladroit as usual. I find it so sad that I can't believe anything my president says tonight or ever. I want to be optimistic about the future but it all seems so large and corrupt. Our current administration just doesn't seem to be aware of a real world out there. By claiming to value life by being against abortion, cloning and same sex marriage(wtf?), but sending under protected kids out to kill and be killed in Iraq, Bush is just so delusional. I didn't catch all the speech but I don't think I missed much.

There was a protest tonight on Hollywood Blvd that blocked up traffic. For the first time I didn't mind being in gridlock. Hell, I would've joined them if I wasn't so tired from running around LA trying to fix a traffic citation.

Friday, January 27, 2006

It's a family affair

This is an email exchange between my father and my Serbian brother-in-law that I had to sit through. Enjoy!


"Let's all raise a glass in a toast to W. A. Mozart on his 250th
birthday. Sorry Milan, another German. Perfection from the past.



"Well, he was an Austrian, and a good one :-) Cheers!
- It was interesting for me to realize that he was 50 years younger than
Benjamin Franklin. Somehow, in my mind, I never quite made the
connection that the US existed during the time of Mozart...


"Actually he was born in Salsburg, Germany. Migrated to Austria when he was 27 years old.

Incidentally, I have captured on Tivo a sequence of a History Channel program on World War 1 that describes/shows the German invasion of Serbia. I will keep it until you have seen it."

Mom (in a suprise guest role)~

"That's your dad for you. A little of the third Reich in him, everyone
from that area is German. Milan, a good point about Franklin. we do
have some history in the US. I found out they have just made a museum
of the house B. Franklin lived in in London, that I would like to see.
We also need to find out what Paris has to see about T. Jefferson."


"Well, we are both right and wrong...

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfgang_Amadeus_Mozart:

Mozart was born on January 27th, 1756, in the city of Salzburg, the
capital of the independent archbishopric of Salzburg, which today is
part of Austria, to Leopold and Anna Maria Pertl Mozart.

In any case, part of the third Reich. And being an Austrian only makes
things worse :-) ;-)"


"My family originated in Bavaria, the farmers, not fighters. That was Mozart's part of Germany at one time. So, he's still German. Ha. Your right, Austrian is worse."

Milan (bringing it on home)~

"The territory was annexed to Austria in 1806, then to Bavaria in 1809,
and finally returned to Austria at the Congress of Vienna in 1815.
Have a nice day!"

Thanksgiving is always fun.

Color Me Happy
Originally uploaded by Crimpop76.

Nothing much going on at the moment, so here...

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being in bed with no obligations for the whole day

2. What is your greatest fear?
Never feeling worthwhile

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Marilyn Monroe, no seriously.

4. Which living person do you most admire?
Oprah. If one objectively looks at her life and what she’s accomplished it’s nothing short of amazing...

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My coldness

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

7. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
”Fuck” and “You know?”

8. What is your greatest regret?
I don’t really have regrets rather than I should’ve stayed home that night.

9. What is your greatest extravagance?
I go out to lunch five days a week.

10. What is your favorite journey?
From my car to my apartment when I get home from work

11. On what occasion do you lie?
When the truth could hurt me.

12. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
”goodness” rather than kindness

13. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
I guess I’ll go with my nose, but I don’t seriously dislike anything about my appearance.

14. Which living person do you most despise?
Child molesters, those who abuse, and rapists

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Nah, he wasn’t that great…I’ll go with art.

16. When and where were you happiest?
When I was a little kid catching frogs in Michigan.

17. What is your current state of mind?

18. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to instantly comprehend what ever I hear or read.

19. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would be kinder.

20. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Inertia or what my sister and I call “Egginertia”.

21. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

22. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A lap dog for a very rich person

23. If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
I would do my life over again for fun.

24. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
That I can still love certain people in my life

25. What is your most treasured possession?

26. Where would you like to live?
In a big loft in the city

27. What is your favorite occupation?

28. What is your most marked characteristic?
Good style

29. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Interestingness with Intelligence a very close second

30. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

31. Who are your favorite writers?
Anyone who is honest

32. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

33. Who are your heroes in real life?
My friends, my mother (how cheesy!)

34. What do you value most in your friends?
Forgiveness, understanding, love, loyalty

35. What are your favorite names?
Henry, Jack, Emma, Isabel, Hannah, Sophie

36. What is it that you most dislike?
Not being able to escape

37. How would you like to die?

38. What is your motto?
”This too shall pass” at this very moment.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

When I'm 64

You know you're getting old when shots of Pepto-Bismol replace shots of Tequila.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Spoiled little girl, spoiled little girl...

My mother likes to cheer me up by taking me out for a haircut. I got my hair dyed an auburn-golden-brown. I look beeeaaa-utiful.

Then she got me a new cell phone. It takes pictures.

I also ordered a new bed frame online. I paid half.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I only smile in the dark

Things I am so sick of:

1. Brokeback Mountain ~ If I hear anymore "If you go see one movie, see Brokeback Mountain, it will change your life" crap with that fucking inspirational music I just might hurl. Don't be so goddamn proud of yourself, Hollywood. Cashing in on the homosexual market doesn't mean you're enlightened. If the mainstream actors can't even admit they're playing gay characters then there's still progress that needs to be made.

2. My broken bed ~ It was kinda fun when I was having sex, because it made me and my fella feel reckless and passionate every time those Ikea slats fell. But now that my virginity has grown back the thrill is gone. I need a new bed. And my back kinda hurts.

3. Insomnia ~ If I don't get some good sleep soon I'm going to develop a split personality and start beating on people. And if my alter ego looks like Angelina Jolie I just might shoot myself in the face.

4. Online Dating ~ Losers. Boring. Creepy. Dysfunctional. And those are the guys I actually met and dated.


5. Myself ~ Hrumph.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

So here it is

I can't sleep.

I tried to erotic fantasize myself to sleep but it didn't work. My fantasies can be so elaborate that I just fall asleep in the middle of them. Usually it works but I had to pee.

This was a good one so I thought I might share a bit...

The setting: A living room, not very special

The music: Fever by Peggy Lee (the extended version)

The participants: Me and a guy

He was being very pushy and I wasn't a bit happy with that; I had to take charge. So, I came up with a game that guy and I could get as close as possible but we couldn't kiss. He kept trying to kiss me but I would say no. We were against the wall rubbing and touching each other. Our mouths only millimeters away from the other's mouth, nose, ear, neck, eyelids... It was becoming difficult for him to not kiss me so I turned around in hopes of deterring his advances. But this position brought up problems of a different kind. His hands started wondering up and down my body, becoming more and more aggressive.

To regain control I turned him around and pinned him to the wall. I then spread his legs, turned around, flipped my hair in his face and slid down his body. I turned back around and crawled back up until we were face to face.

I took his hand and lead him to the couch. He sat down and I straddled him. I started wriggling and twisting around as hard as I could. Then I turned around and again flipped my hair in his face. At that point he unbuttoned my jeans...

That's all you get. To eleborate would be unlady-like.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Don't quote me boy, I ain't said shit

Nothing says weekend like a surprise lunch date. I have mentioned in previous blogs a certain gentleman I met online, well Saturday we had a conversation on the phone. Then outta nowhere he asked to have pancakes Sunday morning. I agreed and we set a date and place.
Of course I was hopeful that I was going to meet the perfect man of my dreams and I would never have to date ever again. Hell, I have that hope when I go to the grocery store. But as I find reality is far more realistic than my imagination. The guy turned out to be rather boring. He didn't intentionally make me laugh once. And he was really upbeat. Sunny-side-of-the-Street kind of positive thinking that makes me feel like Wednesday Addams for complaining about traffic in LA. Anyways, I like my men with a bit of self-deprecation in 'em (Ahh I love you, Jon Stewart.)
But going out on this date did give me this feeling that I will find someone special someday. All I have to do is just keep going out there and meet new people. I just have to believe that in this world of billions of people, I will fall in love with someone who will actually love me back. If George W. Bush can be elected twice as president of these United States, I can surely find a man.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Once bitten twice shy, baby

It happened again!

I will met a guy on an online dating site, he writes me, I write him, he write me and I write back...

...then nothing. He just stops writing. This is the second time it's happened! It was starting to make me wonder what I was doing wrong. So I decided to make a bold move. I wrote this last guy back and gave him my phone number all casual-like:

"Oops, I forgot to give you my number! So here you go."

And guess what, he called!

Mystery solved. Just call me Encyclopedia Debbye.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Ain't nothing like the real thing baby

I always thought buying knock-off's was tacky, now I find that it's reprehensible. According to an article in Harper's Bazaar magazine most purses made in China are usually done by child labor. While researching a bit I came upon this article. So ladies, don't buy knock-offs, save up for the real thing or even better donate the money to a good cause.

I want you to know, I'm happy for you


...love cute boys with accents who offer to help me with my groceries.

...love coming home to a clean apartment and comfy pants.

...buy fruit as decoration.

...almost bought a Chinese screen from Pier 1 Imports, but decided against it when I couldn't figure out how to get it home.

...find the strangest things happen when I actually leave my apartment which is why...

...love living in Hollywood.

...am clumsy and awkward and one day someone will love that about me.

...am still sexy even though I've gained a pound or ten.

...will feel sexier once I start running.

...forgive myself for all the fucked up things I've done.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Eleanor Rigby

Okay, I've had a few emails from a guy I met at Match.com and I'm already having fantasies that he's the perfect man.

I'm fucking doomed.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Girl Can't Help It

You're Jessica Rabbit!
Jessica Rabbit

Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, January 07, 2006


Plans for the weekend:

10:28 AM ~Wake up
10:29 AM to 1:30 AM Sunday ~ Do super-secret grown up stuff.

10 to 11 AM ~Wake up
11 AM to 1:3o PM ~ Reunite ABBA
1:30 to 1:48 PM ~ Read some poems
1:48 PM to 7 PM ~ Examine my split ends
7 PM to 10 PM ~ Contemplate the Post-Modern Art Movement
10 PM to 11 PM ~ Watch "Gray's Anatomy"
11 PM ~ Go to the sleep

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

On RollerSkates...Good Times!

I've decided that my name would be Vanilla Shake...

I'm gonna set it straight, this Watergate

I prefer "good to meet you" over "nice to meet you". My favorite dog breed is French Bulldog. I've worked as a swimming instructor, babysitter, cashier, usher, phone banker, and camp counselor. No one has ever been in love with me. My favorite apple is Pink Lady. I have never shopped at Walmart. My favorite songs right now are: Upside Down ~Tori Amos; Wild Horses ~Rolling Stones; You Shook Me All Night Long ~ACDC; Hot White Cum ~Liz Phair; Ride On ~Al Green; and Dancing Queen ~ABBA. I have a birthmark on my right cheek and when people would ask what it was, I would say the Mark of the Devil. When I go to museums I have a compulsion to touch the artwork. I hate talking on the phone and writing emails. I watched my grandmother die. I believe sexy is a state of mind. I make little designs with my Skittles and seperate them into equal color order before I eat them. I do the same with my Starburst. I feel lonely when I don't have the television on. Intimacy freaks me out.

Monday, January 02, 2006

All the Pretty Things...

I try not to make resolutions because I notice that the minute I resolve to do anything I want to do the opposite. I hate to settle down to rules and tend to rebel in some passive aggressive way or another. So I set myself up with goals, something positive to work toward. I know, the little lies we have to tell ourselves to function.

One goal is to date more. I've only gone on one date in the last seven months and honestly I wasn't into it at all. Lately, I've been wanting to meet someone special and have one of those relationship things. The first step is to get out of my apartment and go out with a guy. I've signed up for some online dating services which have proven successful in the past. Now I just have to muster up the energy to go out.

Which goes into my next goal, getting in shape. I've let myself go. In fact it has gone up an left the building. I get winded going up stairs and find that I'm just so damn tired all the time. I actually love running and find it's a great way of stress relief. Much better than yelling at my friends and family.

My other goals include reading more, keeping my apartment tidy, having more sex, being a better friend, being more creative, watch less TV, go to more museums, take more pictures, go out more on weekends, etc. I guess I just want my life to be different from last year. I'm through with feeling sorry for myself and watching life pass me by.